Romance is in the air as Valentine’s Day approaches. But while dating platforms accelerate AI adoption to better meet user needs and demands, a recent survey recommends caution…

Dating platforms across Asia are accelerating the integration of artificial intelligence (AI) into their apps. But is emotional automation a boon or a bane for these platforms and the singles who use them, especially with Valentine’s Day driving user traffic?

New data suggests that, while AI is reshaping how dating businesses operate, singles are drawing clear boundaries around how far automation should go — particularly when it comes to emotional connection.

Findings from The Singles Dating Survey —an annual study conducted by Lunch Actually Group capturing insights into dating attitudes, behaviors, and trends among singles across Asia — show that while singles broadly accept AI as a tool for efficiency and safety, they remain resistant to emotional automation.

According to the survey, 61% of respondents believe an AI companion could never replace the emotional depth of a human relationship, even as platforms roll out AI-generated profiles, chatbots, and virtual companionship features.

 “Efficiency matters, but authenticity matters more,” said Violet Lim, Co-Founder and CEO, Lunch Actually Group. “Singles are willing to use technology to reduce friction — not to replace emotional judgment. Platforms that over-automate risk eroding trust rather than improving outcomes.”

Violet Lim, Co-Founder and CEO, Lunch Actually Group.

Adoption gaps signal hybrid models

Despite high awareness of AI-enabled dating features, actual usage remains limited. The survey found that 68% of singles have never used AI tools such as chatbots or profile optimizers as part of their dating journey.

At the same time, openness is emerging. About 42% of respondents said they would be open to dating someone who used AI assistance, while another 36% remained undecided. This gap between awareness and adoption points to a market opportunity for hybrid models — where technology supports decision-making without replacing human agency.

“The data suggests users are not rejecting AI outright,” Lim said. “They are selective. They want technology that supports better choices, not shortcuts emotional processes.”

AI trust concentrates on safety and security

Survey responses indicate that trust in AI is strongest in operational and risk-management functions.

While 46% of singles said they were unsure whether AI could meaningfully improve dating safety, clear priorities emerged when respondents were asked what would encourage continued use of dating platforms. Respondents are looking for:

  • Better match quality (58%)
  • Verified profiles (58%)
  • Safer dating experiences (48%)

“These are no longer differentiators — they are baseline expectations,” Lim commented. “Singles are signaling that technology should reduce risk and improve efficiency, but not substitute for human connection.”

Rising app fatigue driving behavioral shifts

The survey also highlights growing dissatisfaction with app-based dating models. Among respondents who previously used dating apps, 43% reported reduced usage or complete withdrawal.

Key sources of frustration include fake profiles (66%), ghosting (49%), and a lack of real emotional connection (47%). The findings suggest that feature expansion alone may not address declining engagement or rising user churn.

In parallel, offline dating formats are regaining relevance. More than 51% of respondents said in-person dating events feel more genuine than app-based or AI-assisted interactions.

This shift points back to  hybrid models — to renewed commercial potential for platforms that combine technology with human-led matchmaking, curation, and accountability.

Implications for the dating economy

Taken together, the data suggests that the next phase of growth in the dating industry may depend less on feature proliferation and more on rebuilding trust while improving real-world outcomes.

“The market signal is clear; singles don’t want more features — they want better results. Companies that fail to rebuild trust risk declining relevance, while those that integrate AI thoughtfully to enhance human-led experiences are better positioned to capture sustainable growth,” Lim concluded.

How Lunch Actually is using AI

Against this backdrop, Lunch Actually has begun integrating AI internally to improve operational efficiency and matching outcomes — while deliberately preserving human involvement in areas that directly affect relationship success.

Founded in 2004, Lunch Actually Group is a matchmaking company serving singles across Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Hong Kong, and Indonesia. It combines curated matchmaking, events, and technology-enabled services to help singles build meaningful, long-term relationships.

The company uses AI to assist with initial filtering of matches and facilitation logistics, reducing manual workload and turnaround time. It is also applying AI to analyze historical matching data to identify key factors correlated with successful matches.

According to Lim, these initiatives have increased both the number of dates facilitated and the number of successful matches made, improving throughput while allowing matchmakers to focus on higher-value activities such as client conversations, coaching, and post-date feedback.

“AI helps us surface patterns and operate at scale,” Lim emphasized. “But the final matching decisions remain human-led. Technology supports insight — it doesn’t replace judgment.”

Crucially, Lunch Actually has chosen not to automate emotional assessment, coaching, or decision-making, which remain central to its service model.

“The goal isn’t to replace matchmakers,” Lim added. “It’s to free them up. We deliberately draw the line where automation would dilute insight, empathy, or accountability.”